Destination Inspiration

February 2009

The Dumps & the "D" Word

By Lisbeth Anne Marín

Motivational Speaker

Professional Development Consultant

Why is it that when you’re on top of your game, exuding a stellar bubbly mood, nobody suggests altering your attitude…it’s ok to feel exactly what you’re feeling.  But dare to get deep down in the dumps and some think they need to fix you.  I suppose when people don’t know what to say, they’ll offer platitudes of happy schmappyness.  They might say ‘but you’re so creative, smart and talented’.  Maybe so, but at that moment, you just can’t see it.  Slapping a coat of whitewash over the cruddy stuff doesn’t make it go away. 

What about you…  Do you allow yourself to feel your feelings or is your mood a masquerade for public consumption?  

It’s been my experience that booking an occasional round trip to ‘Down In The Dumps’  has distinct value.  In fact, knowing the contents of my dumps keeps me pushing forward.  I have achieved great stuff from profound brokenness, and it’s OK.  What’s not ok is to think you’ve got license to judge other people’s dump or cancel out their private truths.

Next time you witness someone in a temporary state of wallowing or being ticked-off; try giving them room to spin it out for a while.  If they ask you to just let them be, respect it and back off.  Their current frame of mind won’t be receptive and ultimately, they’ll be relieved to have not been witnessed in their doldrums.

For the most part, I keep my emotional dial tuned to strong, positive stations.  Although occasionally, I’ll drift off the crisp clear signal that plays ‘you’re wonderful …you can do anything, you’re blessed’ and hear only a staticky hissssss.  No one can tune me back in.  No amount of flowery words or stiff upper lipped pep talks returns me to my personal top 40.  Sometimes, you need to go through a process that might include solitude, shopping, Haagen-Dazs or a matinee to get back to bubbly, Yeah …so what! 

I’ve heard it said that God will never give you more than your can handle and I heartily disagree.  Life gives us more than we can handle on a regular basis.  If we could handle it alone, we wouldn’t need faith.  In fact, my dumps were on the path that led me to salvation! 

At some point we all experience a level of dysfunction suggesting … dare I speak it… the ‘D’ word, Depressed.  Perhaps this is part of the normal human experience?  Maybe you’ve got to dig deep to see what God wants to show you.  My advice is to distinguish temporary states of emotion.  ‘I’m Depressed’ translates differently than it used to.  I’m certainly not minimizing the serious nature of clinical depression, which is an illness that requires treatment.  But folks, not every crummy mood needs therapy or a pill!  Some of us are actually able to rescue ourselves and through our processes, get back to the business of bubbly.  If once in a while you find yourself in the path of an emotional locomotive get aboard and ride till it’s out of track, unless your track lasts for weeks, then you’ve got trouble up in there!

Learn to play to your strengths, focus on what you enjoy doing best.  Discover what depletes you because it will surely sabotage your success.  Don’t spend your days immersed in things that bore you to death.  And, keep fiddling with your dial until you tune in the sweet clear music that plays behind your smile.